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Download E-books I Don't Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I've Dated PDF

By Julie Klausner

within the culture of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and humorous debut I Don't Care approximately Your Band sheds gentle at the humiliations we undergo to discover love--and the teachings that may be culled from the wreckage.

I Don't Care approximately Your Band posits that in recent years the worst men thus far are those who look delicate. It's the jerks in great man garments, no longer the gamers in Ed Hardy, who holiday the hearts of contemporary women who grew up within the shadow of feminism, pondering they can have every little thing, yet prove compromising continuously. The cowards, the kidults, the critics, and the contenders: those are the celebs of Klausner's memoir approximately how challenging it's to discover a man--good or otherwise--when you're a cynical grown-up exiled within the dregs of Guyville.

Off the recognition of her New York Times "Modern Love" piece approximately getting the brush-off from an indie rock musician, I Don't care approximately Your Band is marbled with the wry traces of Julie Klausner's precocious curmudgeonry and brimming with truths that any one who's ever been on a date will relate to. Klausner is knowledgeable at touchdown herself waist-deep in loopy, time and time back, partially simply because her adventure as a comedy author (Best Week Ever, television Funhouse on SNL) and comic strip comic from NYC's Upright electorate Brigade fuels her philosophy of ways any scene may still spread, that's, "What? That sounds loopy? ok, I'll do it."

I Don't Care approximately Your Band charts a rather human trip of a strong-willed yet susceptible protagonist who loves males like it's her activity, yet who's performed with men who be aware of extra approximately love songs than love. Klausner's is a brand new outlook on courting in a time of popular culture obsession, and he or she spent her 20's doing own box learn to again up her philosophies. this can be the girl's model of High Fidelity. via turns specific, humorous and relocating, Klausner's debut indicates the evolution of a tender girl who persevered myriad encounters with the incorrect men, to emerge with actual- global knowledge on concerns of the guts. I Don't Care approximately Your Band is Julie Klausner's manifesto, and each one in every of us can relate.

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Yet whatever was once coming jointly for me round this time that used to be new. I didn’t sweat J-Matt, and that i didn’t stalk or fume as soon as my overwhelm had petered out its torque. probably my hormones had eventually discovered to close the hell up for a minute, or even I’d shed the various ego- fueled “how dare he now not love me” vitriol that was once conjoined like an evil dual to the star-crossed conditions of each man that didn’t come via. both manner, round that point, i started to get a bit greater at letting pass. And there have been lots of men round whom I walked clear of ahead of they even had time to precise interest—the defecating neighbor involves brain. Then, correct earlier than I became twenty-one, I met my first genuine boyfriend. DAVID used to be only a yr older than me, and his intelligence was once seen from around the room. He used to be a specific form of quiet, and there are assorted kinds—there’s shy/socially phobic quiet, indignant and plotting quiet, pleased Zen quiet, illiterate farmhand quiet. David’s quiet used to be sufferer and smart—the type you must get via a ton of books. I puzzled if I appeared too frivolous for him; I had purple leopard prints pasted all over the place my dorm room partitions, and Spice ladies posters placing along framed pictures of John Waters. yet David cherished me, and shortly sufficient we acquired jointly. I enjoyed falling in love. I enjoyed the total incubation interval: the entire lazing approximately in mattress staring into every one other’s faces, the midsummer hangouts on his fireplace get away, the job of the evening being hearing a checklist or taking a stroll. i used to be having the time of my existence being enjoyed as what I gleaned was once an grownup. i'd say to humans, “I have a boyfriend. this can be my boyfriend. ” And after my mint-condom-sucking, Jazz Matt-chasing collage days, i used to be ripe and extremely joyful within the sensation of being courted in a formal means, by way of a boy who didn’t simply imagine i used to be horny. David proposal i used to be lovable. We went to Montauk jointly. We drank Mike’s difficult Lemonade in a lodge room and skim Penthouse to one another within the condo automobile again to town. I enable him take my photo with none make-up, at the seashore. round David, I felt cherubic and endearing. It didn’t determine. there have been differences—the type that experience not anything to do with him liking that band the Mountain Goats for those who consider like listening to that guy’s making a song voice is like being stabbed within the eye with a shrimp fork time and again. He enjoyed me, yet I additionally imagine he used to be infatuated with a person in me I wasn’t so loopy approximately. If Nate used to be the one that observed Kate Pierson beneath my grubby disaffect once we met, David attempted to strip away all of Kate’s attractive lashes and wigs and iridescent clothes to bare what he used to be convinced used to be the mousy, wide-eyed ragamuffin little lady that he desired to love me as, and who he sought after me to be. it is going to pop out in little issues, like how he advised me how lovely I regarded in a T-shirt whilst I enable my hair move into its normal wave, or in acts of religion in my expertise, like whilst we’d attempt to collaborate and he’d write me a component that used to be extra in his voice than mine.

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