By Alexis Munier
Learn to talk German--the soiled Deutsch Way!
If you're thinking that German is all brat and no wurst, you must reconsider. German is sexier--and dirtier--than you may think. (Think Hamburg!) From hearts and violins to pigs and canines, Goethe's local tongue is ripe--and rank--with artistic obscenities, including:
Kuck mal diese geile Schnitte!
Look at that horny chick!
Literal translation: examine that horny slice!
Alle wissen dass Klaus sehr intestine geigt.
Everyone understands Klaus f**ks well.
Literal translation: we all know Klaus performs the violin well.
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Additional info for Talk Dirty German: Beyond Schmutz - The curses, slang, and street lingo you need to know to speak Deutsch
You could kiss my ass! Leck mich am Arsch! = Kiss my ass! /F**k off! Setz deinen Arsch in Bewegung! = Get your ass in equipment! Arschlecker, m. ass-kisser, brown-noser; lit. ass-licker a hundred and twenty Forbidden Pleasures Der weltweilt am meisten verachtete Typ ist der soge‑ nannte “Arschlecker. ” some of the most universally disliked humans on the planet is the ass-kisser. Arschloch, n. a-hole, asshole Jörg ist ein Arschloch wie er dich behandelt. Jörg is such an asshole for treating you how he does. arschlos random, unnecessary; lit. ass-less Deine Idee ist overall arschlos. Your thought is totally unnecessary. Mistkerl, m. bastard, soiled swine Du hast vielleicht Nerven hier aufzutauchen, du Mistkerl. You’ve obtained a few nerve displaying up the following, you bastard. Miststück, n. bastard, complain; lit. piece of shit Dieses Miststück glaubt, sie könne mit meinem Freund anbandeln. That whinge thinks she’s going to make a movement on my boyfriend. The cleaning soap “Irish Mist” made a under astonishing debut in Germany. It needed to be renamed simply because Mist capability “manure” or “shit” in German. simply because no one desired to scent like crap, it really is now referred to as Irisch Moos, “Irish Moss. ” it seems that smelling like a rainy Irish rock is extra attractive. 121 TALK soiled GERMAN jemanden ankotzen to be a ache within the ass Du kotzt mich an! You’re a ache within the ass! You puked on me! Abtreibung, f. abortion Das schwangere Mädel sah keine andere Möglichkeit als die Abtreibung. The pregnant teenager felt she had no selection yet to have an abortion. abtreiben to terminate a being pregnant, have an abortion Obwohl meine beste Freundin erst 15 Jahre alt conflict, entschied sie sich nicht abzutreiben. even if my ally was once merely 15 years previous, she made up our minds to not terminate her being pregnant. Unaussprechlichen, pl. unmentionables Unsere Nachbarin hatte all ihre Unaussprechlichen an der Wäscheleine hängen. Our neighbor had all her unmentionables striking at the outfits line. Unanständigkeiten, pl. obscenities Saras perverser Onkel erzählte ihr dreckige Witze und andere Unanständigkeiten. Sara’s perverted uncle advised her soiled jokes and different obscenities. 122 Forbidden Pleasures erogene Zonen, pl. erogenous zones Samuel wollte alle erogenen Zonen seiner Freundin erforschen. Samuel desired to discover all of his girlfriend’s errogenous zones. lüstern flüstern to whisper lustfully Es macht mich an, wenn du lüstern in mein Ohr flüsterst. It turns me on for those who whisper lustfully in my ear. wollüstig stöhnen to moan ecstatically Ich liebe es, wenn meine Freundin wollüstig stöhnt. i admire it whilst my female friend moans ecstatically. In many of the global, male masturbation implies a dick, not less than one hand, and should you are circumsized, lubrication. whereas americans grease their monkey, Germans grease their flask, den Kolben ölen. You don’t must be a chef with a purpose to “butter the salmon,” den Lachs buttern—you’ll be serving up your personal scrumptious soup, sein eignes Süppchen kochen, very quickly. yet don’t disregard the part dishes: German audio system additionally get pleasure from nudelwürgen, choking the noodle, and skinning their sausage, sich die Wurst pellen.